I've had this goal of being able to learn more about myself. Being able to love myself and then I'll be able to love others. I've also struggled with this for quite some time. I finally think that I'll be able to get some ground and be able to have the ability to love myself and be able to finally live my life.
It started when I began to overeat, or eat in the confides of my room. I would take stuff from the kitchen and get have a hog heaven when everyone would go to bed. It was chips, cheese, pepperoni slices, etc. Anything I could get my hands on I would devour. When I started gaining weight, I would eat more because I was depressed I was that size. I didn't realize the damage until it was to late.
I've since then had an issue with my weight and eating. I'm trying to change that though, doing more things to preoccupy my time instead of have a kitchen brawl out with the refrigerator. I'm slowly getting there, and soon hopefully I will have accomplished at least one part to my goal of overeating and eating to much at the table.
Working out also isn't my strong suit. Since I was little, I've always hated going outside. I can't explain why, but it makes me angry when I do. Especially as a young girl with a little brother that always wanted to go outside. That's another reason why my brother and I didn't get along growing up. But now, I want a change. I mean a serious change in my lifestyle and ways of growing up.
Zach isn't giving up on me, especially when sometimes all I want to do is eat or sit in front of the T.V for a whole day and pig out on ice cream and Mozzarella sticks. I have more important things to do with my time. That's why this year is the year of change in my life. I'm not going to give up on myself because that hasn't gotten me anywhere. It's time for me to change, and I'm ready for it!
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