Are you truly happy?

I learned something today about myself that I had never thought before. Am I truly happy with who I am right now? Ask yourself that question and truly think about it. Every aspect of your life is something to think about. For me, when I was asked this question, I couldn't see myself happy with who I've become. The many tears I've shed tonight, really has made me want to reanalyze my life and try and figure out where I am right now. being able to talk about what I feel right now has really helped me. It's made me realize, ,that for a long time, I've lived my life and all I've ever wanted to do is make other's happy. Maybe it's because I realized that if they were happy, then I should be happy because I made them happy. In the end though, I'm just the one miserable, being treated like a doormat that anyone could come and step on me and then come back for seconds. It's been a roller coaster for me, and it's been like that because i let it be like that.  Something that hurt, was when my dad told me to look in the mirror at myself, I really looked at myself, and all I could do was cry. It's when he told me, that I am my own enemy. I noticed all the stuff that I've done in my life, the good decisions, and the bad decisions that I regret ever doing that made me realize this is not who I was supposed to become.
I need to change, and to be honest I hate the word change. I always have. Moving from place to place really isn't easy as a kid. But obsessing over something I won't be able to change like moving or doing something unknown isn't the best ting for me right now. Change is all around us, everyday something new happens. How we perceive that or take that experience with us is the true learning factor. So today I learned that this isn't the real me, hiding behind a mask every time i'm with family, or friends isn't who I really am. I need to change, and it will take time and lots of dedication. But honestly, I don't want to be miserable anymore, so I need this. Tomorrow is a new day, so I'm going to live it to the fullest because who know's how long I am going to live. No one does, so i'm not going to live it in fear, and then regret every wasted minute I had doing nothing that makes me happy. So I guess what i'm trying to say is..

Live Your Life To The Fullest, And Be Happy With Who You Are! <3