Not being Good With Change...

The six letter word you may or may not like. "Change". Yet, we go through it everyday. Based on personal opinion it can be a good thing, or the thing you may dread the most. Whatever it may mean to you, may not be the same for the person right next to you. I've had a problem with change for quite some time. It started for me when we moved from North Carolina to Iowa. We've moved plenty of times before, but it really messed me up mentally. Although, plenty of times before North Carolina we moved and I was perfectly OK with it. I believe it had to do with the age that I was when we would move.
Moving from North Carolina though really made me change. It was there that I met my best friend, was in a group that accepted me for who I was, and it's truly where I felt at home. The day I found out we were moving, my heart metaphorically stopped. Thinking about it at the time, made me sad. The thought of losing my friends, the house I was growing accustom to was suddenly about to be a distant memory. Packing all my things was hard. Saying goodbye to my friends, was heartbreaking. I thought that since I would be moving, they would move on and forget about me. But in the end, I still talk to some of them, it's really good that I know they are there for me as I am for them.The moment that I will almost never forget meant everything to me. Saying goodbye to my dog, Scooby Doo. She is the cutest little dog I've ever been able to know. I remember the night before we took her to a no kill shelter, I held her in my arms and told my mom to take pictures of me with her.
I will admit, I never wanted to leave. But now I realize that if I didn't leave, I wouldn't be able to learn new life skills, meet new people, and overall grow into the person I want to be. Moving to Iowa, I was honestly nervous. Meeting new people wasn't really my strong suit. But right off the bat, everyone was really nice, and curious as to who the "new girl" was. I won't talk about  how miserable it was to live in Iowa, because it wasn't. Yes there were a few things I will never forget that did traumatize me, that I've learn to push into the past and try my best to forget. Yet, I'm thinking about it right now.. And it does make my heart ache at the thought. It was in Iowa, where I began to overeat, or nervous eat whenever I had bad thoughts in my mind. Completely clueless as to what the outcome would be, now I'm trying to work it off. Moving to Colorado is another story. Yes, it's another chapter of my life that I can have happy memories and the not so fond bad one's but that's life, and that's my little story.
Admitting that I'm scared of change is something I've tried to hide for a long time. Yet, here we are.. Change is about to happen for me, it's massive for me at least, going out into the big bad world. Not living with my parents, getting all the "luxuries" from living with my mom and dad. I know it is going to be probably one of the many things I will do in life that will be hard. But I know that this is what I need to do, live my life like I should, like I've always dreamed.

And This Is What The Song Bird Sung Today