Our Futures..

     A couple days ago I was talking to Zach about our futures. We have tried in the past but haven't really taken it as serious as it sounds. To some it might not sound as important, but to me I think it's very important since we are both young and live on our own. When we first moved in together I thought it was the most amazing thing in the world. I never realized that we would be moving in so quick, but life is kind of funny that way. Since we started dating, I've always imagined what our life would be like. My own little fantasy land if you want to call it that.


     We would move in and live together, our relationship would grow and we would become engaged. We'd both have jobs and we would save money. Our careers would come to play after we went to some schooling and got our diplomas. We'd spend more time together and really learn about each other more.We'd plan our wedding maybe a year to two years after becoming engaged, etc. To bad something in life aren't always the way you thought it would be.


     While yes some of the things I've mentioned have came true. They also came quicker than I thought. Isn't it funny about life yet again? I love Zach, don't get me wrong. We've been through a lot together. Our families both have their doubts, some more than others, but yet we are still here. When we first started dating and all the drama was going on I honestly thought to myself.. " This isn't going to last.."


     We've overcome a lot. Fights, disagreements, families need to input on everything we have done or did wrong in their eyes, etc. We are still strong. We are overcoming obstacles everyday.


     Our futures are looking up for us right now. We are looking into our careers, what we want to do with our lives. We are looking at the schooling it will take for us to achieve our goals. We are planning an engagement party even though the odds are against us, we are doing it for us. This is about our futures. Not what futures our family thinks we need, but what is best for us. Our own decisions are being made. Yes we aren't going to impress family or make them change their opinions but it isn't about them, it's about us.




- The Songbird-
    

Odd Days..

     Yesterday I wasn't having the best of days. I woke up and got ready for work. Normal things like eating breakfast, driving to work, etc. I tried to focus on the positive things in my life. I always try and do that everyday. I'm tired of being in a slum.


     Anyways, when I was at work I had a great day. I was doing my job and having fun with co-workers. My relief came in at 12 and I was just about to go on my lunch when I was called for a task. Taking the initiative I got my tools and was ready to make a bale. My co worker started to talk to me about the previous day. He began to talk down to me, telling me things that only a boss would tell me, not a co worker.


     I have had much respect for this man, seeing that he has been there longer than me. But something inside me blew up. See, my parents have taught me to respect my elders. I have done this forever. I told him with respect that I didn't understand how he could treat me like I'm nothing, or go to management whenever I don't do anything like how he does. I told him that I didn't like the fact that I give him respect and I get nothing in return.


     He began to get angry and told me to shut up, etc. All I did was complete my task and then go take my lunch. When my other co worker came in I told him that I just needed to stay was to stay away for a while from him. After what happened, it made me feel different. I came to work to make money and have fun.


     I realized last night after a Skype call with my mom, that I didn't realize the real reason for work. I come to work for myself and Zach. For the both of us to be able to live in a place and not have to worry about where we are going to stay, or whether or not we have enough food in the house. I work to make money and  to have the positivity of knowing that I have a job and I can make money.


     So now, I get to go to work. Knowing that I'm making money and learning new things at the same time.


Have a great night Songbirds..


-The Songbird-

A New Name for Myself

     In the past I've written about how my life long passion was to become a journalist. For so long I haven't focused on what I really wanted to do. I just came up with something that was closest to my passion. I don't want to become a journalist anymore. I want to be a certified event planner.


     I've done some research on becoming an event planner. It's somewhat harder than what I thought, but I love it. I've throw a few parties so far. Small get together for a going away party, birthday parties,etc. When I told Zach I wanted to do this he told me that I will still have to keep my day job. Of course! It's something on the side for now, until it becomes a full time thing. I'm so excited though.


     I haven't given up my hobby which is writing. Even though I don't post a whole lot more. I promise though to write at least every day, even if it is a small piece. I love writing, it's a great stress reliever.


     Party planning has always been my passion. I love seeing the happy kids or the smiles on peoples faces. We'll see where this goes.


Keep Positive Songbirds..


_ The Songbird_

My Thoughts Exactly

     My mom has the right idea. She is here until Sunday along with my dad, brother, and his friend. Since yesterday was my day off, I took my brother and his friend for a ride along the town. We saw train tracks, a couple of new places built, and we went over to my house where the boys both got to meet my cat, Koda. We went to where I work and got some drinks. We went to Taco Bell and ate some delicious food and even went swimming. Zach, Jonathan, and Monty went swimming while I sat on the side with my feet in the water.


     I was able to spend time with my mom today something I was in dire need of. We went to Village Inn both ordered the same thing; Chicken Fried Steak, Eggs, Hash Browns, and Pancakes. Let's just say I walked away stuffed and happy.


     Anyways, when we were talking I realized something she said was something I much needed to hear. We were talking about family. Just talking about family is hard for me. I've reserved much comments I'd really like to tell my extended family. Out of respect for my elders and the unneeded drama, I've held my tongue.


     I've watched my mom cry and struggle. It's devastated me. I saw this yesterday, my mom cried and it broke my heart. A woman who has been put through a lot, who is on vacation only to have fun who is crying. My heart was broken again. The bullcrap of other's not understanding and obviously not caring just amazes me. I wish my family would grow up and while yes I would love to tell the people who have made many cry especially my mom where to shove it. I'm still going to hold my tongue.


     There is too much drama going on in my family, I'm not going to sit here and take it or deal with it anymore. Life's to short for drama, and the stupidity of others and the hatred shown towards those that have given to much of their lives to those that don't respect it.


- The Songbird-

My 30 Day Challenge

     I have an obsession. Now I never thought I'd be so obsessed about Facebook. It started five years ago and it slowly grew. Two years ago it was the focus of my summer, and it definitely wasn't the best.


     I realized something today with the help of my mom. I need a break from Facebook for a while. So I'm giving myself a 30 day challenge. I will not be on Facebook for 30 days. I'll admit it'll definitely be hard. I get on Facebook whenever I can. It's kind of like my newspaper in the morning.


     I think I need this break from Facebook because I need my focus and time back. For so long, I've wasted my time always on Facebook.


     Focusing on my life is most important. I can focus on my party planning business, focus on this blog, write stories and learn business and do what I love. This is something I need to do for me.


     So, here it goes...


           My 30 day challenge to not be on Facebook. After my 30 days, I'll post the results.


- The Songbird-

Green Thumb

     I've never had a green thumb, period! When I was younger I had a couple plants in my room. Honestly I thought I was amazing. I had a Ficus, and another odd named one that obviously I can't remember. They sat on my desk in my cute little room in North Carolina and never left that spot.


     I tried to take very good care of them. Watering them daily, making sure they had enough sunlight, and also being kept in a safe place away from my dog. I basically listened to whatever my mom said. Well... I tried to anyways.


     They aren't with me anymore. My mom has them in Iowa now. I was slowly but surely killing them. My mom would check on them while I was at school ever so often to make sure they were still alive. She would tell me that I over watered them or under watered them and so to keep them alive and not dead.. I gave them to my mom to watch over.


     When I did have them it brought a sense of pride to my self esteem. Now, I know it may sound weird to some, and it might just make sense to the others. Now mind you I was also around maybe 11 or 12..? Maybe older? I can't remember. All I remember is when I had them in my room it brought a certain light and energy into my mood and vibe. They made my room colorful. It brought individuality to my personality and room. Yes they were green, but it was something different.


     Now that I have my own place. I want to retry my luck with my green thumb. A small plant to start out would be nice. Something colorful to add to our little place. I would only face the issue of our cat. He's not to bad, but put something new and something he can dig in and we'd got an issue. We'll see about it.


     I'd really like to have my own garden. I think it'd be pretty cool to grow your own plants. Veggies and fruits you can pick and now that they weren't tampered with when being put in the produce shelves. That's something for the future when we get a bigger house with our own backyard. But we aren't in a rush, so it's kind of nice being able to dream about something and see exactly how you want it to look.


That's my dream I guess..


- The Songbird-

Staying Organized

     A couple days ago I cleaned the entire house. Believing that we had an inspection I hustled and worked really hard to make sure the house was spotless. I shampooed the carpets, I scrubbed the bathrooms and tidied up the kitchen. I'll admit, I actually felt great while I was cleaning. Since then, I've made a cleaning chore chart. Keeping to the chart has actually made me feel better. It's nice to come home to a clean house. Now that I have the physical aspect of my life clean, I need to start on other parts.


     My new year's resolution was to start making my life better. I'm slowly but surely doing that. Keeping a positive attitude and making each day better and better. I need to start taking better care of myself. Health wise I mean. I know how I need to start doing that. Healthier foods in my life, healthier snacks, and no more fast food. Period! I need to start drinking more water and less soda, start exercising more and going to bed at a reasonable hour.


     I need to start blogging more, when I was it was helping me more. So look for more pieces! I need to start focusing on my future and my future with Zach. I need to talk to my family more, and show them that I love them.


     There's so many things that need to be completed, and that's why I have forever to complete them. So here's me shining the light on my future. Here's time for a much needed change in my life for the better.


- The Songbird-

Playing House

     When I was younger my brother and I would make a big house in either of our rooms. We'd have a kitchen, a living room, a bedroom, etc. We'd play around for hours on end trying to get our mom involved in the game. It was all a game back then, and that's the way I remember it. Growing up, I started to realize that our little game turned out to be something more. Reality kind of kicked in and from that point on sitting in my single living class I knew the game wasn't real.


     My teacher used to tell us everything about when we would finally move out. She told us the responsibilities of every decision we made from the apartment, to how much we could pay, how much money we would have to save, and if we would move in with a roommate to split the cost of everything in half. It's funny actually, after I met Zach and we were both about to be graduating seniors. I remember one day asking him a question, not really knowing that it'd happen in the future. I asked him if when we graduated, would he want to be my roommate. Ironic, right?


     Senior year went by in a blur. So many things happened, I don't remember a whole lot. When we graduated, everything changed. Now I had a job, and I was making money. Taking care of my brother while my parent's were away and it was going okay. I didn't realize how important it was at the time, because I'll admit I goofed off. I think every teenager who doesn't have their parent's there, and has free range does it. No parties were started there though, so that's one thing I can be positive on.


     After leaving my parent's it definitely was different. Staying at my grandma's just made me feel like I wasn't independent. Now, that Zach and I were dating he spent more and more time around me which made me feel special. Still does to this day, and even though we fight and argue I still love him every night I go to bed and every morning I wake up. He helped me when I thought my parent's hated me because of what I had done.


     Moving out of his mom's place was hard for him too. Sometimes I feel as though I made him move out to fast. He tells me no, that he's happy that we have what we have. We have our days when it comes to this.


     Now that we have been living together almost a year, it's shocking. We've got our own furniture, a TV, a queen sized bed, dressers, etc. I never thought that I'd be where I am today. My very own house. See, the difference between when I played as a kid was the fact that as a kid I didn't have bills, a car, and living with my fiancee. Now, I have to clean the house, pay bills, and work for money for food, clothes, and taking care of Koda.


    I'm glad I played house with my little brother, soon one day he is going to have his own place. He'll feel the independence of saying " I have my own place". Yes, there will be some bumps in the road, and you might feel like you don't know what your doing or where your going. I've felt that way many of times, but once you get the hang of it. You'll love it.


- The Songbird-

Mother's Day..

     I've given much thought into how I was going to write this. I have the crinkled up papers to prove it to you. Mother's day is a very special day to me. Special because I have the one person who I don't think I could live without, my mom. I hope she's reading this too.


    
    While I was at work today, being in retail there was a rush as always for the perfect mother's day present. Frantic fathers and wondrous children crowded my store in search for something to make their mom smile on their very special day. I couldn't help but to think about my mom, all the memories we share, and the fact that I won't be able to give her a hug on her special day. It made me sad a little.


    
    See, I've written in the past about the disagreements with my mom. People that are around me, don't exactly understand our relationship. They question me sometimes, wondering why am I still in contact if we argue? I simply tell them, I can't stay away from my mom. She's been in my life the whole time with every step, every word, every adventure, and every memory we have together is something very special. My mom truly is my best friend, my hero, and most importantly my role model.


    
    I've been thinking about my mom for a while, ever since I left the house and everything changed. I don't get to give my mom hugs anymore, or see her everyday. But the time's that we Skype or text or call are very important to me. See, she's coming this week and so is my dad and brother and I can't wait. I'm ecstatic, to say the least. I look forward to giving my mom the biggest hug ever. I miss her like crazy she just doesn't even know it.






    
    Mom, I know that I'm not with you right now. I can't wait to see you and give you the biggest hug. I love you so very much mom! I'll always be your stinky, the little girl you remember running down the hallways. I'll see you soon momma. Here's my song for you. Have a great day and don't let anything bring you down.




Love Always,


Your Songbird


                                          Happy Mother's Day to ALL mom's! You are all amazing!

Misadventures Of A Young Adult..

     I haven't posted lately. Life's been really busy for me, so many things going on. I'm in the process of jump starting my business, " Life of The Party". I'm in the process of planning my engagement party. I'm working great hours, thirty six hours. Saving money slowly but surely.
  
      I've been working some pretty good hours, consistent hours which means for some really good paychecks. I worked 8:30 to 5:30 today by myself for most of the day. I've been able to get better and better at my job. A couple nights ago, I checked the mail and my discount card came in for working for Wal- Mart for close to four months. I wish to get farther with this company than I did with Safeway.




     Party planning is another thing that I'm really going to start focusing on. I was able to plan it our and purchase some business cards to promote my business. As for advertising, I need to start working on the Facebook, Twitter, and the website for " Life of The Party". It's a work in progress, but whenever I get free time, I get a little further with my planning.


     I recently celebrated my twentieth birthday. Let's just say.. it wasn't what I was expecting. I spent at least half the day by myself, in my PK's and being lazy and watching T.V. I made meatloaf and mashed poratoes at my grandparent's house. It definitely was a weird birthday. I missed my parents, it was very hard. I'll be able to see them soon, I can't wait to give my mom a hug, joke around with my dad " Butterflies"! He'll know what I mean! Give my brother a hard time, but most importantly reconnect with my family and tell them how very much they mean to me. But hey.. I'm officially twenty years old!


     I'm in the slow process of planning my engagement party. It's very stressful trying to plan this. See.. I believe that I'm a perfectionist, I don't know how I got it but I have it. I want it to be cute, yet amazing. I've been going through a bunch of themes in my head and the only one I really like is "Starry Night". To bad it's going to be during the day.. But I love the theme, so I'm sticking with it.


     So there you go from the Misadventures of A Young Adult..


- The Songbird-