Depression… Could
it be your state of mind that is making you think this? I believe, there is a
time in our life where we do go through depression, at any age. It could be
about anything; life, love, job problems, etc.
If you have suffered; it’ll be
okay. I’m saying this because, I too went through depression. Although, the
symptoms may not be as severe; I still had my brief moment. Here’s My Story:
Growing up, it is
hard having the responsibility of different things. Growing up in my family it
wasn’t the hardest thing, yet it wasn’t the easiest. Being the older of two
kids, I was told to be responsible for my actions. Although, at the age of 13
it didn’t really kick in about growing up, I was still under the childhood
stage. I was rowdy, wild, and weird, a normal soon to be teenager. For me,
making mistakes was my thing. There are plenty of things I regret doing, I know
that life isn’t like a video game. You can’t redo your life by the touch of a
button. Knowing what I know now, I think that life will get better because I
can’t go back, but I can go ahead and learn from my mistakes and move on.
My depression
stage started when we moved. I’ve never been good at change. My family moved a
lot, and sometimes it seemed like in my life every three years we move. At
first, since I was young, I didn’t have a problem with it. New experiences, new
place, new memories, and new people. Those were the thoughts I’d tell myself
whenever we would go to school. Now for me, I’m shy. Those of you that know me…
Know that I don’t really like to talk to people. Always been my habit to be
quiet and listen to people. I’m a listener; it’s not a bad thing, yet also not
a good thing. Being shy, it isn’t a disease, more like a crutch. Didn’t really
make a lot of friends, felt alone most of the time. Being alone wasn’t really a
problem, till I got older.
It was different
when we moved from NC. At first, my friends, everything changed. Losing my pup
Scooby really hurt. She was the one I always talked to, not weird at all. It
traumatized me, when we took her to the no kill shelter I still remember it
like it was yesterday. I felt at home there, and now.. I’m slowly getting back
to that feeling.
Moving to Iowa
wasn’t that bad. There, the depression started to kick in. I remember sitting
in my room, and watching the outside life go by. For example, if anyone has
seen Twilight: New Moon, the part where Bella sat in front of her window that
was me for a while. Getting used to the atmosphere, small town, not a lot of
kids, etc. The distant memories of NC
slowly starting to pain me really didn’t help.
But still, life goes on. I had to hold my head up high, and act like
nothing was wrong. Yet, in the end I felt horrible.
Moving again,
this time we ended up in Colorado. Most of my family is here, and so I felt
somewhat at home. Slowly, I got out of my shell and tried to be social. Not be
the awkward kid in High School. Joined some groups and got noticed by some
kids. Yet, still the sting of NC and IA still was in the back of my mind.
Issues now were weight, and still a bit shy. The pains of being in High School,
it’s something we are all going through or have gone through. Things like being
in love, having a crush, dealing with drama, worrying about your grades, etc.
These are just some of the things that have been going through my mind. They
agonize my brain most of the day, worrying about things that I might have no
control over, and something’s that I do have control over. Yet, I know that in
the end, it’s my life and I should make it however I want.
Depression.. think of something that happened to you, loss
of a relative, being single, whatever the case may be in the end. It’ll all get
better. There’s a quote from Ed Sheeran, Music Singer-
“ Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's
not the end."
If you’re going
through depression right now, a word of advice: Don’t let it get you down. This
is just a stage of your life that maybe you were supposed to go through, a plan
for your life to deal with the horrible aspects to get to the great aspects.
Keep your friends and family close, and if you feel the need to get things off
your chest.. I would suggest a journal, write down all the thoughts that are on
your mind and be specific about it. In the end, it will get better. I promise!
<3
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