Minutes

     Lately I've been doing some mental thinking. Every time it seems that my thoughts make me think of new things I can accomplish. That's what my life is about it's about making my life better than what it is right now. I didn't realize that till now. I've always lived my life one step at a time, instead of knowing what I needed to do. When I lived with my parents, I didn't have a worry in the world. I was still in high school and I was on top of the world. Met some friends that are still with me to this day. That's what my issue was when graduation came around, would my friends ever really remember me? Was I going to be alone again?

     I can answer that question now and the answer is no. Yes, we have distance between us with College and Work. But for me, I feel very lucky to have my friends around me when they can. Girl time is always needed when it's been a while since I've seen them. Life is all about change and how you deal with it. This year, it really did change. Some for the best and some for the worst. But overall, I've really changed.

     Before this year, I didn't really have a lot of self esteem in myself. I couldn't look at a guy without tripping, or make any friends that actually knew me for who I am. I was a loner basically, which is probably why I don't really want to focus on my high school career. Yes I did NJROTC and it was amazing. Making some friends in that class was good, and it helped me survive over the 3 years I was in the program.

     Since graduation it has changed. I've moved in with my boyfriend and it's never been better. Yes we bicker and argue a couple times but that's what all people in relationships do. I don't really see my friends often but when I do I realize how important they are when i'm in my darkest times. Like my boyfriend I realize that he is an important part of my life. Since we've been dating, I've really got to learn more about life and different aspects.

     My family is just as important to my story of life. Yes, they are far away now. But every now and then it's good to just at least be able to talk to them or skype them. I hope they know that I do love them. It's not goodbye just yet, I know that being in a different state as them is hard. Not really being able to see my mom did take it's toll on me. But I have to realize that she is in a good place with people that I trust, my dad and brother. Plenty of nights when Zach is asleep next to me, I look up at the ceiling and all I can think about is my mom. She's my best friend and she always will be, fight or not. I love her.

     Minutes go by in my life and I can't help but smile because this is who I am. Yes this year has changed me, but it's also made me a better person. I have no more regrets about anything i've done or haven't done. I look forward to the future and I know that i'm okay. No more worrying about mistakes I've done in the past.


It's time for now....