..Shattered..

     In a hand is held the broken pieces. Putting it back together seems difficult. Like a puzzle, every piece is special to the other. Years and years of trying. Suddenly the urge leaves. Escaped with the last words, to bearable to even hear. A fake smile on a weary face. A tear shed upon a cold pillow. Softly, she creeps upon this world, unnoticed. Pain, she feels no more, only joy and peace. She is a soul lost, yet also found.

 

Perspective

Recently in Creative Writing we had to do a poetry game..This is the result..Take it into your own perspective. Enjoy

Perspective 

A journey in misery ignites a rare feast

As tangy dust withers from the cliffs

A cursed war so full of glory and black pleasures 

Painting a journey in a stony perspective 

Images burned honor and glory in their dreams 

A hidden smile within a cold street

A soft roar compared to a gleamy war

As the strong children's streamed chorus falls to a disaster 

Deep honor within wild children 

For the quiet fire sleeps forever in misery

.. Nightmares ..

Today's Piece.. Hope you enjoy!!

..Nightmares..

Many nightmares I have are of my dreams

Cold and alone, these take over her

In a cold sweat

I lay among my bed in a daze

It took over my dreams

Made them a reality

Panic with fear

A once free bird

Now she cowers under her safety net

Hidden from the world

Alone and confused 

Peeking into the world slowly

Dew of raindrops fall among this weary head

The morning sky takes away the dark

Brightening her sky, her path to life

Closer she reaches the edge

Closer she starts to imagine

Gentle music plays among her heart

Things that one made her afraid 

Now surprise her with every step taken

The past..

Hey guys, this is very dear to me.. Took me the longest time realizing this.. But i'm glad I do now. Enjoy!1

I thought it was love, just turned into dust

The talks, moments, and memories

Watch them fade away with time passed

What I thought was love, turned into this poisonous remembrance

The heart attack, depression, and tears shed upon my precious pillow

Distractions came upon my mind, my heart aches

Thoughts of my heart shrinking were coming true

The very thought of you made me cry

Yet, a guy who changed my mind came along

Every second, hour, day, month spent pulling me closer 

Out of this very miserable state I came into

Afraid, and scared 

No emotions came upon this hallow body of mine

Looking upon the light of life and hiding in the shadows

Stealing this broken heart of mine

You started to fix it 

Slowly, and carefully

You made me realize 

Love isn't a hard thing to deal with

People are

The Little Girl

     ** Hey Guys(: thought I'd do something different with today's post. Hope you enjoy XD


     Here we have a little girl, amazed at the little things of life. Slowly but surely growing up and experiencing new things. How curious she must be, yet she doesn't know what is to come of her life. Love is what she does, help is who she is. Yet, behind this mask she sits alone in a corner, crying and wishing for a new beginning. Only to reveal her true self when she is alone, curious are those who are around her. Quiet and shy she is around those that she calls friends. Hurt on the inside from everything that happened. Thinking to herself, "is this what my life means?" Keeping close to her dreams and memories, slowly but surely this is all she will have at the finish line. Being a puppet for others, and a toy for some. This little girl, grew into what others wanted her to be. A model replica of some of their likes and dislikes. This girl was unknown to herself. A body and mind of unknown origin. Yet, the days go by and she sits among the disarray she calls her life and wishes of what it would be like if it was different. Days and hours, years and months she dreams... only to wake up and do the same routine.  She is unknown.

Among These Things

Here is today's post. I've been so busy trying to organize my life that I've been lazy when it comes to writing. Expect more blogs soon. Thank you to all the people that follow me and read this :D Enjoy!

Among These Things...

Since the day we met

Happiness and laughter are things I bet 

The constant glances 

Pokes and Blushes

Made me remind myself  of the past

The same feelings I felt were the mini stings and pokes from my past

Overcoming those stings and pokes were the hardest part

You made it surreal to even be around you

The presence of you made me feel like I am special

Thoughts of you race through my mind

The conversations, and small talks are favorite to me

The dance we were able to do made me fall closer and closer

I'm in love with you

I don't want to let go of what we have 

Friends or more it doesn't matter

As long as your in my life

That's all that matters 

Written: April  19, 2013 

Depression.. Is it a state of mind?

     Depression… Could it be your state of mind that is making you think this? I believe, there is a time in our life where we do go through depression, at any age. It could be about anything; life, love, job problems, etc.

If you have suffered; it’ll be okay. I’m saying this because, I too went through depression. Although, the symptoms may not be as severe; I still had my brief moment. Here’s My Story:

Growing up, it is hard having the responsibility of different things. Growing up in my family it wasn’t the hardest thing, yet it wasn’t the easiest. Being the older of two kids, I was told to be responsible for my actions. Although, at the age of 13 it didn’t really kick in about growing up, I was still under the childhood stage. I was rowdy, wild, and weird, a normal soon to be teenager. For me, making mistakes was my thing. There are plenty of things I regret doing, I know that life isn’t like a video game. You can’t redo your life by the touch of a button. Knowing what I know now, I think that life will get better because I can’t go back, but I can go ahead and learn from my mistakes and move on.

     My depression stage started when we moved. I’ve never been good at change. My family moved a lot, and sometimes it seemed like in my life every three years we move. At first, since I was young, I didn’t have a problem with it. New experiences, new place, new memories, and new people. Those were the thoughts I’d tell myself whenever we would go to school. Now for me, I’m shy. Those of you that know me… Know that I don’t really like to talk to people. Always been my habit to be quiet and listen to people. I’m a listener; it’s not a bad thing, yet also not a good thing. Being shy, it isn’t a disease, more like a crutch. Didn’t really make a lot of friends, felt alone most of the time. Being alone wasn’t really a problem, till I got older.

     It was different when we moved from NC. At first, my friends, everything changed. Losing my pup Scooby really hurt. She was the one I always talked to, not weird at all. It traumatized me, when we took her to the no kill shelter I still remember it like it was yesterday. I felt at home there, and now.. I’m slowly getting back to that feeling.

     Moving to Iowa wasn’t that bad. There, the depression started to kick in. I remember sitting in my room, and watching the outside life go by. For example, if anyone has seen Twilight: New Moon, the part where Bella sat in front of her window that was me for a while. Getting used to the atmosphere, small town, not a lot of kids, etc.  The distant memories of NC slowly starting to pain me really didn’t help.  But still, life goes on. I had to hold my head up high, and act like nothing was wrong. Yet, in the end I felt horrible.

     Moving again, this time we ended up in Colorado. Most of my family is here, and so I felt somewhat at home. Slowly, I got out of my shell and tried to be social. Not be the awkward kid in High School. Joined some groups and got noticed by some kids. Yet, still the sting of NC and IA still was in the back of my mind. Issues now were weight, and still a bit shy. The pains of being in High School, it’s something we are all going through or have gone through. Things like being in love, having a crush, dealing with drama, worrying about your grades, etc. These are just some of the things that have been going through my mind. They agonize my brain most of the day, worrying about things that I might have no control over, and something’s that I do have control over. Yet, I know that in the end, it’s my life and I should make it however I want.

Depression.. think of something that happened to you, loss of a relative, being single, whatever the case may be in the end. It’ll all get better. There’s a quote from Ed Sheeran, Music Singer-

       “ Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end."

If you’re going through depression right now, a word of advice: Don’t let it get you down. This is just a stage of your life that maybe you were supposed to go through, a plan for your life to deal with the horrible aspects to get to the great aspects. Keep your friends and family close, and if you feel the need to get things off your chest.. I would suggest a journal, write down all the thoughts that are on your mind and be specific about it. In the end, it will get better. I promise! <3

Things we are all afraid of...?

     Afraid of things in your life? Everyone is, something that happened in your past or even in the future. I'm saying being afraid can't be bad most of the time. We are afraid of most things in life, not because we're scaredy cats but because we don't do well with that topic or whatever it may be for you.
     I'm afraid... to grow up and be out on my own soon, yet i'm excited. Afraid because I won't be around to depend on my parents, but also excited because I want to experience what it's like to live on my own.

Always do what you are afraid to do.

Ralph Waldo Emerson 

    Think of one thing that you are afraid of- Life, love, death, etc. Now think about why you are afraid? If your afraid of life, it might be because you don't know what to expect. See, that's the great thing about life. It's like what Forrest Gump said in his movie " Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you'll get" 

     Somethings I'm afraid of.. Growing up, Living on my own, Being alone for most of my life. Well those are just some of the things. I'm most afraid of how my life will turn out. We all have been at this point in our life where we worry about things. I seem to worry all the time about things that I can't fix.. the only thing that I need to remember about this, it's my decision on how my life runs. The thing to remember about being afraid:  Don't be afraid of life, or anything else. It'll all get better!

What's Your Major Problem in Life?

     Everyone of us has a problem or two that sometimes we sit and pester over. For those who do, it's not like it's the end of the world. We're all human, no man is perfect that the other. We're all equal in one way or another. Problems come and go, just like people. Traumatic some may be, influential are the other problems we might face.
     Early on, I realized that life wasn't the fairy tale people told me it was going to be. See, when I was younger I believed what anyone told me. Such as, " Love is going to be your least favorite thing" or " you are gonna do great things with your life" Now the last one I completely agree with.

      "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."

Robert H. Schuller 

     We think in today's society that our whole life stops because of the problems we have. Well, life doesn't stop it keeps going whether or not you have control of it or you don't. No matter the size of your problem from love issues to even the small issues like they tidiness of your room we all have the guide towards getting towards the bright and happy future we all deserve.
     Here's a bit of my story: As you may or may not know, I lived in North Carolina where I felt at home. Problems weren't that bad, I mean for being young you don't really have a lot of problems. Tell me if i'm wrong. But in my life, it seemed like it was OK. The occasional getting in trouble for the stupid things us kids all do was just about it. Anyways moving from place to place started to become a problem. The lack of friends kind of hurt me for a while. The biggest problem I had, was my weight. I began to become addicted to nervous eating and stress eating because of all the things I was "going" through. With the weight issue, I began to get a low self esteem, depression. But that was then, this is now.
    Now, I'm still working on all my problems but it isn't so bad now. Weight is still a small issue and the factors with that are starting to slowly leave. I'm only 18 years old, and I've got my whole life ahead of me. From now on, I won't let those get to me anymore. Time to stray from problems and more towards living.
     It's your life, do what you please. But those of you that may or have experienced the same thing, kudos to you for sticking through it. <3

Cherishing your life

     For some, having a lot in your life is what you might want. Other's might not want the same thing. Our life's are filled with material items, or memories. Whatever the case may be, the one thing you should do is cherish all that you have. You never know what is going to happen. Here's my story:
     When I was about 11, we were in North Carolina. Finally moved, thinking that we were going to live there forever, or so we thought. Being there, I met some pretty cool friends, began to live the life I wanted.  Had my best friend there, laughing and being 11 was my thing. Young, and getting out of my shell were the two things I began to work on. It wasn't til we packed up and moved to Iowa, that I realized my life wasn't like the fairy tale. I began to have some issues, mentally and physically. Bringing myself down, it wasn't the best of times. But, I learned to move on, with the little sting of realizing the life I left behind. Through all the trouble, grief, success, I learned to get over my past. Cherishing every moment I had with them, I was at  peace. But it didn't come easy, it was rough. Every night, I would remember crawling into bed, and crying because I didn't understand why my life had to change. " Why me?" would constantly race through my mind.
     Through all the rough times, I was able to learn new things, be able to become who I am today. Yes, it wasn't my best time, but it was also worth it. People come and go, things disappear, or wear down with use or age. What matters most... is the fact that they or it was in your life and maybe had an impact on you. So cherish all your moments, experiences, and material things. It's your life after all.