Getting Closer and Closer...

Today, I realized that we're getting closer and closer. What I mean by that is for me at least, I'm getting closer and closer to graduating. Am I scared? Yep. Am I excited? Heck yeah! Will it be hard? Definitely. All the key factors that come with graduation are scary, yet mind blowing. Being in school that long, it feels like a routine. And now, suddenly all of that is going to change. I don't want to be the same old persona and not grow up. I have dreams and ambitions, yet of which I will be accomplishing. Instead of be sad an moan and groan all the time like I have been. It's time for me to get my " big girl pants" on and face this big bad world.

Daily Challenge..

For some this is going to sound easy. To other's it may be a new way to better organize your life. Start writing in a journal. Yes we all know that only girls write in a journal, but it honestly is for everyone. Writing every emotion down can be helpful for your mental stability. Give it a try, take 30 minutes to an hour to write down everything and then see how it goes. For me, writing in a journal gives me time for myself. It's a great feeling being able to write down all my issues and my how to fix them goals. And for my kids, they will get to know what my life was like. So my challenge to you is to write for a day or two and see how it goes.

Putting Faith In Yourself..

Faith, what does it mean to you. Take a couple minutes and think. For me, it means believing in myself. It isn't easy doing it everyday. We should do that though it seems like in today's society everyone is depressed, telling yourself "oh I can't do this" well I beg to differ. Why do that to yourself? Wasting precious time telling yourself you aren't worth it. Well, your reading this right now and I want you to know that you are most definitely worth it. Your happiness is all that counts. Yes, friends come and go, so do most family members, mistakes have been made however big they may be. You can change that, if right now your life isn't the way you want it to be. Simply change it, sounds easy right. It isn't, but hey don't give up hope yet. Have a little faith in yourself and you'll be amazed at what you can achieve. 

The last couple of days...

These past few days, I've really been thinking. Not bad thoughts, so don't worry. Mostly about my life. Past, present, and future. I know I've written a lot of things in the past about well.. how to get past it. See, growing up for me was not difficult, but it had it's moments. Some of those moments have never left my memory. To be honest, I think that's what is keeping me back. The feeling of change all the time, not being able to fully develop into who I wanted to be. Yet, see how it was me that was keeping myself back. Typically teenagers may blame most of their problems on their parents, and for a long time that's what I did. But, in the past couple of days, I learned that it isn't anyone's problem but yours. If you don't like the way your life is right now, you know that you can change it. Like for instance, one issue I've always had was worrying about others instead of myself. Now, don't get me wrong, helping others is always a good thing. Yet, if you let them "walk all over you" then who is that helping? Definitely not you. That's a lesson, that I believe everyone is going to have to learn once in their life. Young, old, no matter the age, we all go through it. But for right now, my issues are going to be fixed one at a time. the road to success depends on how much you want. For me, I want to be happy, not always depressed. But with every goal, it takes baby steps, and lots of determination to achieve what you want your life to turn out. So what will you do?

Final to My Story!

            A Song Birds Tune

            It was a brisk and light morning for Stefanie Velrosi, as she brushed her long brown hair, looking outside she stumbled upon a red robin perched on the apple tree just a block away. Taking a couple minutes to stare at this beautiful creature a sudden knock at her door startled her. She quickly looked over at the person who knocked, her mom. As she glanced back to see if the red robin was still there, she noticed an empty perch. Today was going to change her life, it was June 17, 2012.

            “Hey, you ready for school?” Her mother asked.

            Instead of answering, she shook her no and got up to go to her closet. Sorting out the dresses, shirts, and other things shoved in her closet. Stefanie finally picked a sparkly blue summer dress and her boots. Putting them on, she looked at herself in the mirror. Turning up her iPod she then ran over to her makeup and began dumping all of the contents on the dresser. Picking out a light blue eye shadow and mascara she carefully applied them on. Grabbing her purse and book bag she was on her way to school. Quickly giving her mom a kiss on the cheek and grabbing the nearby bagel she walked out of the house with the upmost confidence in herself.

            As she was walking, she noticed the same red robin again. Chirping was the most soothing thing that she could have listened to. About a block away from school, her best friend BreAnna came alongside her and bumped into her hip.

            “Morning, best friend.” She exclaimed.

            “Morning best friend, how’d your night go?” Stefanie questioned.

            Ignoring Stefanie, BreAnna walked farther away. Turning her head back at Stefanie she motioned for her to hurry up. Stefanie ran towards her and pulled on her Prada bag.

            “That bad?” She asked. 

            BreAnna looked over at her and laughed for a minute.

            “No, actually it was very nice. He took me to the mini golf course and taught me how to play and then we went for ice cream at Dairy queen.” She said cheery eyed.

            Stefanie stopped and looked at BreAnna and smiled. Then she took her by the hand and skipped to school.

            “Welcome to Kennedy High School, the last year of our punishment for being only eighteen.” They both yelled.

            Walking to her first hour science class, Mitchell came up to her and began playing with a little strand of hair on the back of her hair. She giggled and looked back at him. Grabbing her waist he pulled her close and gave her a kiss on the head. As she sat down, she pulled out her binder covered with One Direction Fan pictures. Her teacher, Ms. Roseblam came into class with her usual coffee and messed up hairdo. That’s when Stefanie began to watch the clock for the time to go by. Suddenly, a paper ball came at her face and hit her in the cheek. Quick to make sure it wouldn’t be taken away from her she put it on her lap and unfolded it when Ms.Roseblam had her back to the class.

            Looking at the scribbled handwritten paper, it read “Hey, I need your help with something, meet me our favorite place.” She read the name and it looked like Michael name. Next she went to her math class, and her most dreaded class of all Art class. Lunch finally came and as she walked to the lunch line to grab her usual chicken sandwich and honey mustard, she was pulled by her arm by Michael.

            “What’s wrong?” she asked him.

            “I wrote you that note because we need to talk.” He responded.

            She began to look at him with a confused look and began to get sad. She knew exactly what he was about to do. He began looking around for other people and then stopped when he stared down some seventh graders till they left.  He grabbed her hand and began to rub her cheek.

            “I know we’ve been dating for a while, and it’s been the best time for me but I think we should break up.” He told her.

            She just stood there, and began to cry. He couldn’t even look at her when he told her that he cheated on her with another girl. As he began to rub her back, she slammed him into the pole and ran away. Skipping the rest of her classes she ran all the way to her favorite hiding spot.  This was the one place she could go and be alone from everyone and everything on her mind. She grabbed her blanket out of her back pack and laid down and began to cry again. Thinking to herself she wondered if she would ever be able to be happy. Time passed and when it began to get dark, she began to walk home. When she walked into the house, she walked right past her mom and went upstairs. Closing the door, she turned on her lava lamp and sat down at her desk. Pulling out her phone, she realized that she had 30 plus messages from BreAnna wondering where she was at. She replied to her messages only telling her that she needed some time to realize all that happened. She soon got a message back talking about how she was always there for her. She read the message and smiled. It was almost 10pm when she finally went to bed.

            Getting a good night’s rest didn’t really work out for her, as she tossed and turned she finally sat up and rubbed her eyes. Reaching for her laptop she quietly got on Facebook to see the latest gossip about her breakup with Michael. Scrolling on through, noticing the few messages from him asking for her forgiveness. Then, she came across this message from a guy she met online. They didn’t really talk as much, but she started writing him. Thinking to herself, “what the heck, what could happen.” He wrote her back and started talking about a variety of things. Making her smile, he told her that he was lucky to meet someone like her. He soon got off and she went to go get ready for that day. 

During that shower, she couldn’t help but laugh and smile. Getting out her clothes for the day she heard a ping on her laptop. It was a message from him as she read it she started to smile more, it read

“I never thought I’d meet someone as amazing as you. I found myself smiling and then I thought about you. You are truly an angel in my life, your great and I never want to lose you.”

She held her composure for a second, and then screamed at the top of her lungs and started jumping around. The creeks of the stairs quickly alerted her and she slammed her laptop. She peeked out her door to find her mom singing and cleaning their room. Grabbing a pair undies and a bra she put them on and then stood in front of her closet. Deciding between a blue shirt and black pants or a purple top and a cute skirt, she grabbed the blue shirt. Looking down at her nails she noticed the color fading, painting them again she began to daydream. A quick rap on her door startled her and she began to walk to the door. Standing calmly was Michael with a bouquet of flowers.  She started to close the door, he put his hand in the crack and exclaimed to her,

            “Would you just hear me out?”

            She took a minute to think about it and opened the door just to where he could see her. Motioning to see if he could come in she just shook her head no.  Another ping came from her laptop and her heart jumped. She really wanted to go and see who left her a message but she motioned for him to come in. He slowly walked in and just stood there with the bouquet in his hand, looking around at her room.

“ Your room changed a little, it looks better.” He told her. She looked at him and motioned for a box full of everything that he ever gave her.

“ Oh.” He said sad. She had a little smile in her face and then sat down on her bed. All she could think about was her laptop.

“ So what do you want?” She questioned.

“ Well, I wanted to first say that I’m sorry for being a jerk to you. I should have never did that to you. “ He muttered. He sat down at her desk and put the bouquet down and then decided to get up. He started walking to the door and slowly looked back at Stefanie. She sat there and began to remember all the fun times they had.

“ Wait!!” She exclaimed. She jumped up and began walking towards him. He stood there and hung his head. As she got closer to him he couldn't help but to stare at her.

“ Michael?” She asked.

“Yes?” He answered.

“ I forgive you, we were not together over the summer and that isn't either of our faults, I will always love you.” She told him and then just to have a lasting memory she gave him a quick peck. He stood there in amazement and looked down at her, smiled and put his hand on her cheek and she looked at him.

“You always so sweet to me, and I don’t even deserve it.” He said to her. She began to cry a little and he wiped away her tears. Kissing her forehead, he walked downstairs and left she followed behind him and stood in the doorway till he drove off. . She walked back upstairs and sat down at her desk. 

 Speechless as to what she read, she saw another message from her mystery man. Rereading it over and over again she started to type. After getting done, she reread it and smiled and clicked sent. Minutes passed before he saw it, and she sat there patiently waiting to see his reply. After replying to her he sent her a video chat notification and she was hesitant to open it. Closing her door, she opened the message and on the screen came this mystery person she had been dreaming about. Immediately she became bright red and in trying to hid it she knocked over her laptop, freaking out she grabbed it and saw him laughing. She blushed the whole time and even though she couldn’t understand what he was saying, she smiled at everything he did. He stared at her and then the chat notification popped up, she clicked on it and began to read.

Stefanie,

I know that you can’t understand what I’m speaking, and that’s ok. Maybe we could help each other learn the language?

 An hour later, he told her he was going to bed she said her goodbye and gave him an air kiss. Closing her laptop ever so gently she rolled over on her side and began to look at the ceiling. All she did was think about how he made her feel the smiling, heart beating faster, skipping a beat, was this true love? Putting her laptop away she sat at her desk and began to look outside. There again was this same red robin, chirping away and then suddenly was quiet. She admired the bird and then began to realize the meaning behind this bird. Her grandmother loved this bird; she always would tell us that when she came back, she would come back as a Red Robin. Stefanie also remembers the signifance of why now she is seeing this bird. As her grandmother told her

            “I will only come when I know you need me, for true love’s best gift, I want to be there.”

She laid down on her bed, and closed her eyes and began to dream a bunch of things, and as she did she knew her life was better off now than it was before. She was finally at peace with herself, and she was home.

Last words..

Right now, think about the last person you talked to. What were your last words? " I love you?" " Talk to you tomorrow?" Whatever it may be.. Cherish them. You never know<3 how long they will last. Losing someone you love, it the hardest thing. I lost someone today, that meant the world to me. I'll always remember being told that " You have the world at your feet, but it's your choice to make that path." Remember how I talked about how words are so important... I forgot the last thing I told him. It'd had been so long since I talked to him.. He knew that I loved him so much. He'll always be in my heart! I guess the meaning behind tonight... is that everyone in your life, is very important. Cherish every moment and words exchanged!


                            This is what the Song Bird sung... <3

Making Peace with your past

Tonight's post will be a sensitive subject for me, but I'm hope that while writing this  I can get past this. Making peace with your past will be the topic of tonight's post. Some of you that are reading this right now might know exactly what i'm talking about. For mine, it's moving over and over again. I used to blame my parents for ruining my experiences that I could have had. Now, I realized that it was never because of them. It's because when I got to one place, I would start to make my roots, etc.  It's also because i've never been good with change. Time for me to change that.  The quote below is something that i'm going to remember forever.

                  " Change is the essence of life; be willing to surrender who you are for what you could become"

Not being able to get over my past has really affected me. It's made me have a low self esteem, not enough confidence in myself, and a bunch of other things. One of my friends asked me if I was going to surrender to my fears and demons. Ever since we talked about that, it's given me something to think about.. Everyday is a new day.. a new possibility for me. Just like it can be for you. Just try and get past your demons and fears and then you can begin to live your life. And if you can't do that.. Then what i'd do is take some time and write out all that happened to you, then write what you want your life to become. And you will surely become all that you were meant to be. 

This is what the song bird sung :D

My Story of Love ...

** This is just the beginning of it.. Expect more soon!**

            When she was just fourteen years old, she would watch chick flicks with her mom and enjoy the fairytale life she dreamt of when she would sleep at night. The years passed, and as she grew up she couldn’t help but see her fairytale drift away. The days of that summer would forever change her life, in either a positive way or a negative way. But as of right now, she is depressed. Only being the young age of 18 years old she believed that the world would be the greatest thing ever like the chick flicks she watched when she was younger.

            “Come downstairs!” Her mom yelled. Putting her journal on the bed she ran downstairs to see what was going on. Standing on the last step of the stair she looked at her mom.

            “What are you doing right now?” She asked.

            “I’m writing in my journal.” She replied. Her mom stared at her and the motioned for her to go back upstairs. As she began walking, she heard her mom start talking, but it wasn’t to her. Slinking up the stairs and back to her room she closed her door and laid back on her bed and began to write.  Her journal was her safe place, she would write almost everything she needed to. But it seemed like lately, she would put off the journal for bigger and better things. She dated her journal

            June 17, 2012

            Dear Journal,

                        What is the true meaning of love? Is it something that people advertise for Valentine’s Day? Or is it really true? It’s been almost 3 years since I’ve been single. It’s miserable being able to see everyone so happy and content. And yet, here I am sad and depressed. Will it ever end, will I get a happy fairytale ending?

                        All my love XOXO,

                        Rebecca

Dreaming of your life...

    " Always dreaming, but making it true." - That's a quote I came up with today in one of my classes. For me, it means that I may be young, and have a bunch of dreams, but I know they will all come true with determination and the help of my friends and family. There are days, where I honestly feel like i'm a complete failure, I say this because I really did waste the precious time I had doing nothing but just following the path of others. But today, is the change that needs to happen for me to accomplish all my goals. Right now, think of a goal you either want or just came up with.. Have you told yourself that you'll never be able to accomplish that goal? Or that you think it will never happen for you? Well here's the truth, by you telling yourself that you can't do it, your really hurting yourself. Trust me, I've been down this road time and time again, getting pumped up for a goal that I REALLY want and yet, when i'm alone I sit and think to myself. I can never do this, i'm not good enough. Well STOP RIGHT THERE! You are worth it. It's your life, you are in charge of it, yes as kids you have help from your parents. But think about later on, you won't have your parents around you all the time, and it can be hard, or it can be easy depending on how you make your path.
      Don't be afraid when your making decisions, I mean we all make mistakes. Life is about learning from your mistakes and making it better. In my life, I have definitely made plenty of mistakes and some I've been quick to learn, yet some it takes me a few tries to get it down.
      I guess what i'm trying to say is.. Quit holding on to the negativity in your life, the constant nagging of letting yourself think you can't achieve a goal. Put your best foot forward, keep your head up, and show the world who you really are! <3 Don't be afraid!!!! <3


Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek. 
Mario Andretti 


Don't let other people choose your path for you. Deep down you know the right way to go, so do the right thing and follow your heart.

Part 2 of the Story

During that shower, she couldn’t help but laugh and smile. Getting out her clothes for the day she heard a ping on her laptop. It was a message from him as she read it she started to smile more, it read

            “I never thought I’d meet someone as amazing as you. I found myself smiling and then I thought about you. You are truly an angel in my life, your great and I never want to lose you.”

            She held her composure for a second, and then screamed at the top of her lungs and started jumping around. The creeks of the stairs quickly alerted her and she slammed her laptop. Grabbing a pair of undies and a bra she put them on and then stood in front of her closet. Deciding between a blue shirt and black pants or a purple top and a cute skirt, she grabbed the blue shirt. Looking down at her nails she noticed the color fading, painting them blue and white again she began to daydream. A quick rap on her door startled her and she began to walk to the door. Standing calmly was Michael with a bouquet of flowers. Starting to close the door, he put his hand in the crack and exclaimed to her

            “Would you just hear me out?”

            She took a minute to think about it and opened the door just to where he could see her. Motioning to see if he could come in she just shook her head no.  Another ping came from her laptop and her heart jumped.  As she screamed for him to leave he threw the flowers down on the ground and stormed out. She ran to her laptop took it and jumped on her bed. Speechless as to what she read, she saw another message from her mystery man. Rereading it over and over again she started to type. After getting done, she reread it and smiled and clicked sent. Minutes passed before he saw it, and she sat there patiently waiting to see his reply. After replying to her he sent her a videochat notification and she was hesitant to open it. Closing her door, she opened the message and on the screen came this mystery person she had been dreaming about. Immediately she became bright red and in trying to hid it she knocked over her laptop, freaking out she grabbed it and saw him laughing.  Hours later when he told her he was going to bed she said her goodbye and gave him an air kiss. Closing her laptop ever so gently she rolled over on her side and began to look at the ceiling. All she did was think about how he made her feel the smiling, heart beating faster, skipping a beat, was this true love?

Preview of my story:)

** If anyone reading this right now, I need your help with a title for this story.. So comment below for suggestions :)

            It was a brisk and light morning for  Stefanie Velrosi, as she brushed her long brown hair,  looking outside she stumbled upon  a red robin perched on the apple tree just a block away. Taking a couple minutes to stare at this beautiful creature a sudden knock at her door startled her.

            “Hey, you ready for school?” Her mother asked.

            Instead of answering, she shook her no and got up to go to her closet. Sorting out the dresses, shirts, and other things shoved in her closet. Stefanie finally picked a sparkly blue summer dress and her boots. Putting them on, she looked at herself in the mirror. Turning up her iPod she then ran over to her makeup and began dumping all of the contents on the dresser. Picking out a light blue eye shadow and mascara she carefully applied them on. Grabbing her purse and book bag she was on her way to school. Quickly giving her mom a kiss on the cheek and grabbing the nearby bagel she walked out of the house with the upmost confidence in herself.

            As she was walking, she noticed the same red robin again. Chirping was the most soothing thing that she could have listened to. About a block away from school, her best friend BreAnna came alongside her and bumped into her hip.

            “Morning sunshine.” She exclaimed.

            “Morning best friend, how’d your night go?” Stefanie questioned.

            Ignoring Stefanie, BreAnna walked farther away. Turning her head back at Stefanie she motioned for her to hurry up. Stefanie ran towards her and pulled on her Prada bag.

            “That bad huh?” She asked. 

            BreAnna looked over at her and laughed for a minute.

            “No, actually it was very nice. He took me to the mini golf course and taught me how to play and then we went for ice cream at Dairy queen.” She said cheery eyed.

            Stefanie stopped and looked at Christina and smiled. Then she took her by the hand and skipped to school.

            “Welcome to Kennedy Middle School, the last year of our punishment for being only fifteen.” They both yelled.

            Walking to her first hour science class, Mitchell came up to her and began playing with a little strand of hair on the back of her hair. She giggled and looked back at him. Grabbing her waist he pulled her close and gave her a kiss on the head. As she sat down, she pulled out her binder covered with One Direction Fan pictures. Her teacher, Ms. Roseblam came into class with her usual coffee and messed up hairdo. That’s when Stefanie began to watch the clock for the time to go by. Suddenly, a paper ball came at herr face and hit her in the cheek. Quick to make sure it wouldn’t be taken away from her she put it on her lap and unwrapped it when Ms. Roseblam had her back to the class.

            Looking at the scribbled handwritten paper, it read “Hey, I need your help with something, meet me our favorite place.” She read the name and it looked like Michaels name. Next she went to her math class, and her most dreaded class of all Art class. Lunch finally came and as she walked to the lunch line to grab her usual chicken sandwich and honey mustard, she was pulled by her arm by Michael.

            “What’s wrong?” she asked him.

            “I wrote you that note because we need to talk.” He responded.

            She began to look at him with a confused look and began to get sad. She knew exactly what he was about to do. He began looking around for other people and then stopped when he stared down some seventh graders till they left.  He grabbed her hand and began to rub her cheek.

            “I know we’ve been dating for a while, and it’s been the best time for me but I think we should break up.” He told her.

            She just stood there, and began to cry. He couldn’t even look at her when he told her that he cheated on her with another girl. As he began to rub her back, she slammed him into the pole and ran away. Skipping the rest of her classes she ran all the way to her favorite hiding spot.  This was the one place she could go and be alone from everyone and everything on her mind. She grabbed her blanket out of her back pack and laid down and began to cry again. Thinking to herself she wondered if she would ever be able to be happy. Time passed and when it began to get dark, she began to walk home. When she walked into the house, she walked right past her mom and went upstairs. Closing the door, she turned on her lava lamp and sat down at her desk. Pulling out her phone, she realized that she had 30 plus messages from BreAnna wondering where she was at. She replied to her messages only telling her that she needed some time to realize all that happened. She soon got a message back talking about how she was always there for her. She read the message and smiled. It was almost 10pm when she finally went to bed.

            Getting a good night’s rest didn’t really work out for her, as she tossed and turned she finally sat up and rubbed her eyes. Reaching for her laptop she quietly got on Facebook  to see the latest gossip about her breakup with Michael. Scrolling on through, noticing the few messages from him asking for her forgiveness. Then, she came across this message from a guy she met online. They didn’t really talk as much, but she started writing him. Thinking to herself, “what the heck, what could happen.” He wrote her back and started talking about a variety of things. Making her smile, he told her that he was lucky to meet someone like her. He soon got off and she went to go get ready for that day.